Story Synopsis : Draft Four

Charlie sits alone in the technology room, with assorted tools and glues sitting around him. He is focused on his work, not looking around. He is preparing two pieces of wood to be glued together, using sandpaper to file down the edges that he’s going to glue. He looks to his right and left, but cannot find the glue that he needs. He leaves his work on the side of the bench, and walks out into the corridor, where he opens a walk-in cupboard, and tries to find his glue. He hears footsteps behind him, but ignores it, and continues rummaging through the cupboard.

To his surprise, he hears a drill being fired up in the room he was in. He pulls his head out of the cupboard, to see a figure in the back corner of the room, looking back at his workstation. The figure is standing solitary, with Charlie’s work under the active drill. The figure continues to stare Charlie down, as the drill-bit descends, boring a large hole through the centre of the wood. Charlie keeps looking; the figure is short and stout, no taller then a year . It was a year 9.

The year 9 slams the work down onto the table opposite the drill, and keeps eye contact with Charlie, but not saying a word, as he moves defiantly towards the door. He gets to the door, but as he closes it, says one word. Not loud enough to be heard from far away, but just within Charlie’s earshot.

“Pussy.”

Charlie looks back at the work next to the drill. He takes it over to the nearby sander, fires it up, and begins sanding away at the corners. He picks it up, blows it, and puts it back up on the shelf. Picking up his bag, he walks out towards the door.

He opens the door, and moves out into a walkway leading to the school piazza. He looks on into the distance, and sees the same boy that had vandalized his work, standing by a bench. He’s giving the guy sitting on the bench a hard time. Charlie stands back for a moment and just observes the situation. He is just about to leave in the opposite direction, when he hears a sudden “HEY”,and sees the year nine emptying out the guy on the bench’s bag, picking up pencils and breaking them. He runs back inside the classroom, and then runs back out.

Charlie walks out towards the bench, and sits down beside the other boy sitting down. HE slings his bag on the floor, and looks at him. The year nine looks bewildered as does the boy sitting on the bench. They sit together, almost forming a united front against their oppressor. The year nine becomes a little more aggressive towards Charlie, saying that the bench was his, and that if he Charlie didn’t move, he would punch him. Hearing this, Charlie simply looks at him, holding his arms behind his back, and leaning forward slightly. The year nine punches forward, and Charlie dodges out the way, standing up as he does so.

The year nine sits down after Charlie has got up, grinning as if he has won the battle. He starts to feel around his trouser bottoms, as they feel slightly soggy, and he looks uncomfortable. Charlie points to this, asking if his trousers feel a little soggy. The year nine tries to stand, but can’t. His trouser bottoms had been glued to the bench. Charlie picks up his bag, and without saying a word, leaves the bench, with the year nine still glued to it.

Comparison of 5 different media texts

Textual Analysis 5 Films

Synopsis - Draft Three Notes

The overall discussion that was had around the third draft initially concerned the content of my writing. In some places, the story synopsis turned more into a short story than a synopsis, and I was revealing what my character was thinking, something that you shouldn't do in a synopsis.

There were several changes made to the content of the synopsis. For example, the prospect of a "Silent Hero" was discussed; how Charlie wouldn't say a word throughout the entire production, relying purely on actions and emotions rather then words. this refers back to Milgrom's script, with the film using maximum action, and minimum dialogue to emphasise what is actually happening in the scene, rather then distracting the audience with dialogue. 

Also, another scene could have been added to the production to explain something that I originally intended to show. In the second draft of my synopsis, Charlie walks out of his working room, and then goes straight towards the Year 9's at the bench. However, by adding a more observational scene before the confrontation, Charlie takes on a more voyeuristic role, not yet engaging the bullies, but instead, watching them pick on another person. This seems to change the tone of the film slightly, with Charlie taking a much more observational role, with the tone changing from retribution, where Charlie goes after the boy that described his work, to Charlie giving out his form of justice to the kids that had previously wronged him.

Within the third script, it was clear that there wasn't a real catalyst for change, where Charlie would realise that he wanted to do something to help out the guy on the bench. Looking could have been considered a catalyst, but it wasn't a very powerful catalyst at that. So, it was discussed that. potentially, the bullies could grab the boys bag, and tip out the contents, possibly breaking a few pens and pencils. This presents the film with a more powerful catalyst when compared to the other. this ups

As per Milgrom's "The Script", the new addition of the voyeuristic role, as well as spending a little more time on the bench with the other boy who is being abused, the protagonist is now presented with another want/need/obligation; he wants to get the boy back for destroying his work, but doesn't not want to resort to violence, as the character is an intellectual thinker, rather then fighting his way out of every problem that comes his way. 

Task 8 - Distibution & Exhibition

The ratio of shorts making money to those that don’t is diminutive because of the way that they are marketed, and the amount of funding that is injected into the marketing budgets of those films. Unfortunately, short films are not the kinds of creations that will be noticed on an off-chance. The market for short films is niche, but not to a point where it barely exists. Because of this niche audience, a little more attention has to be placed on these short films for them to be sufficiently noticed. This exposure could be through online campaigns, pairing with a distributor, or sending off the short film to be selected for a short film festival. With all of these methods of exposure, there is always a risk. If an online campaign doesn’t work, then a film company will have lost a substantial amount of money on a campaign that hasn’t done what it was supposed to do.

This risk will always be present with short films though. After all, it was once said that many film-makers use short films as a calling card, barging their way into the film-making world.

In the case of Raindance’s “Best of 16^th Film Festival Shorts”, the anthology is released to do exactly what it says on the tin. It was released to be an anthology of what Raindance thought were their best short films. Being featured on an anthology like this does a lot for a short. It means that the short can gain the exposure that it needs, and also means that a production company now has a short that is recognised as being one of the “best” in a film festival.

Short film anthologies are marketed in a number of ways. In the case of Best Vs Best (Shooting People), a small teaser preludes the actual video itself, showing accolades of the films that are shown on the DVD, such as OSCAR nominations, etc. Some distribution companies also prefer to make use of other forms of media culture, such as video hosting sites such as YouTube or Vimeo. However, YouTube and Vimeo have two completely different user bases. The user base / audience of YouTube is aimed more towards a mass market, with users of all ages visiting the site. The site itself hosts all different kinds of content, meaning that a whole range of users will come to the site, including those in the film-making and production industries. Granted, shorts are hosted on YouTube, however, it is on a different scale to Vimeo. Vimeo is aimed directly at a more intellectual audience, an audience that would be likely to enjoy a short film. This poses the question of which would be better to advertise on. YouTube has a mass audience, whereas Vimeo is geared towards the right kind of audience, the kind of audience that would buy a short film anthology.

Task 7 - Training & Development

There are many different agencies out there with the sole purpose of helping film-makers to get on their feet, by training them, providing a platform to distribute work, or commissioning film-makers to create a piece of work for them.  One example of this is Lighthouse.

Lighthouse is an organisation in Brighton that involve themselves in the “Digital Culture”. They work with both moving image and stills, and aim to demonstrate up and coming artists. They also run the UK’s leading film mentoring programme, Guiding Lights, that supports up and coming talent by providing the role of a middle man, and connecting those being mentored with industry experts such as Sam Mendes, Alex Garland and Kenneth Branagh.

These kinds of programmes provide a massive advantage in the film industry, meaning that many more quality productions can take place, and film-makers can go out, and gain the knowledge that they need in order to make truly successful short films.

Another good example of an organisation that help film-makers acquire the skills they need to flourish In the industry is “Skillset”.

“Skillset” provide funding for training for individuals and organisations to keep the UK creative industries up to the highest standard, and to provide them with the right level and range of skills. “Skillset” do not just cover visual media, however. They cover a whole range of creative careers in the UK such as illustration or Audio Production. Companies like these that provide funding for training allow the UK to retain the highest quality of production, in terms of the work that UK creative industries create.

Organisations such as the aforementioned two allow the UK film-making industry to flourish, and become a leader in production across the world.

Task 6 - Short Screenplay Writing

Story Synopsis : Draft Three

Charlie sits alone in the technology room, with assorted tools and glues sitting around him. He is completely focused on his work, not looking around, but looking straight down. He’s gluing two pieces of wood together, in preparation to add them to something bigger. He looks around the room, trying to find a specific type of glue, but to no avail. So, he leaves his work on the side, and walks out into the corridor, trying to find some glue in the cupboard adjacent to his workstation. He hears footsteps. But thinking nothing of it, he turns back around and then continues rummaging through the cupboard. To his surprise, he hears a sander being fired up, and pulls his head out of the cupboard, looking back at his workstation. His work has disappeared, and he sees a figure in the back corner of the room, with his work under a drill. The drill fires up, and the figure continues to stare Charlie down. The drill descends, and bores a large hole through his carefully crafted wood. Charlie just looks on, as his work is drilled by the figure at the back of the room. He looks again. The figure is short and skinny, no taller than a year 9. It was a year 9. 

The year nine slams the work down on to the table opposite the drill, and keeps eye contact with Charlie, but not saying a word as he makes a bee-line for the door. He gets to the door, but as he closes it, says one word. Not loud enough to be heard from far away, but just within Charlie’s earshot.

“Pussy.”

Charlie looks back down at the work next to the drill. He walks over to it, and looks it over. He takes it over to the nearby sander, and begins sanding away at the corners. He picks it up, blows it, and then puts it back on the shelf. Picking up his bag, he walks out towards the door.

Moving out onto the walkway, he sees the same boy that vandalised his work, standing over by a bench. It looks like he’s giving the guy sitting on it a hard time. Charlie walks over, and slings his bag down onto the floor next to the bench, and sits down next to the guy on the bench. The year nine looks bewildered, as does the guy sitting on the bench. Charlie looks at the guy next to him and nods, and the guy gets up, and moves to a bench further away. The year nine starts being aggressive towards Charlie, stating that if he didn’t move off the bench that was supposedly “His”, he would punch him in the face. Charlie heard this, and puts his hands behind his back, saying that if he did punch him, he wouldn’t get a response. The two stare each other down for a moment, before the year nine cocks his fist back. He punches forward, but Charlie dodges out the way, and stands up beside the bench. The year nine sits down, grinning as if he had won the battle. 

“Doesn’t the bench feel a little soggy though?” Charlie states. The year nine tries to stand up, but can’t. While sitting down, Charlie applied some industrial strength glue to the bottom of the bench, leaving the year nine glued to a bench by his tracksuit bottoms. 

Charlie picked his bag up, and without saying a word, leaves the bench, with the year nine sitting on it.

Synopsis - Draft Two Notes

With the second synopsis, the conclusion was made that the story was making progress. The story had moved on from it's first version, with a completely new story arc and characters being involved. I had also moved further away from the theme of suicide, and dealing with death, into a completely new, more positive direction. The recurring theme within the new story arc is one of personal ingenuity, and dealing with a problem faced.
However, the synopsis is still missing an obvious moral dilemma. The character does not have to make an actual choice, and is instead, thrust into a situation which they have to deal with. In the next synopsis, I will have to make sure that I endeavour to add in a moral dilemma. Without this moral dilemma, the story is missing a key element, meaning that it isn't as accomplished as it could be, but is also missing a key part of Marylin Milgrom's ten point plan.

Story Synopsis : Draft Two

Charlie is sitting in he art room, painting. His brush strokes are drawn out, purposeful in nature. He knows exactly what he’s doing. A paint pot next to his work stands, leaving a cup mark where it had been on the desk. He starts to mix his next colors up in the palette next to him, a dark shade of purple. He dips the brush in the water, and then in the palette, and then goes to make his stroke, looking down at the page, and trying to figure out where he’s going to paint. As brush hits paper, a loud bang is heard at the set of doors parallel to him. A lone year 9 is standing there, looking him dead in the eyes, and laughing. He looks down at the canvas. A streak of purple runs straight through the middle, ruining any previous work that had been done.

He looks back up at where the year 9 was, and gets up, moving towards the doorway. He sees the year 9 running down the hallway at a full sprint, bolting down the hallway in recognition of what he had just done.He gets back, and looks back down at his work in misery, seeing that his work had been ruined.Charlie picks up his bag, and walks out towards the main forecourt. He sees his friends sitting on a set of benches, both people on one bench. He moves towards them, and clumsily dumps his body down onto the bench opposite. As he listens in on the conversation his friends are having, he spies the year 9 again, walking in the opposite direction, wearing tracksuit bottoms and a P.E shirt, probably just coming out of an after-school club. He changes direction, and walks with a pace towards the bench that Charlie is sitting at. 

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean what am I doing?”

“You’re sitting on my bench.”

“So this is your bench...”

Charlie looks at him. The year 9 stands resilient, looking him dead in the eyes.“You really want this bench?”

“Yeah, it’s my bench, so piss off.”

“But I was sitting here first... What could you possibly want this bench for right now?”


“It’s my bench, so piss off. Move yourself, or i’m gonna punch you straight in the face, you get me?” 

“Well, go ahead and punch me then?”

Charlie phrases it almost like a question. He looks the year 9 dead in the eyes, as he stares right back. The year 9 cocks his fist back, and swings clumsily, but Charlie dodges out the way, looking at him the whole time. He stands, and keeps his eyes fixated on the boy.

“Well, sit down then, if you wanted it that badly?”

The year 9 sits down, still looking at Charlie.“But doesn’t the back of the seat feel a little wet? Maybe not even wet, but soggy?”

The year 9 looks bewildered, but then starts to realize what had happened in the past minutes. He stands up, twisting and turning, trying to look at the bottom of his trousers, but to no avail. He reaches down, and looks back at his hands, now covered in a dark shade of purple. “I’m going to fucking get you for this, just you watch, i’m gonna get you”The year 9 says as he gets up, storming off into the distance. Charlie looks at his friends on the opposite bench, who are looking back at him in surprise, with grins on their faces.Charlie looks back at them“you were saying?”The film fades to black. 

Synopsis - Draft One Notes

After a discussion with my tutor, it was found that there were several key elements of my story missing from the initial plan. For example, the synopsis that I had posted was lacking a significant predicament -  the story was too quick to end, and never involved the character making a real choice.
There was also no unity of time, place or action; there were periods of time that would be missed, meaning that action and time are not unified. If these aren't unified, then the short film will feel less like a short, and more like an interior scene from a feature film. Ultimately, the product of the discussion was that I had started writing about something that my heart was not into - I didn't care as much as I should about the subject to start writing about it.
The film also lacked a significant theme. What I was trying to write about (Suicide) was regarded as more of an issue then a theme.


All of these things, in combination with one another, meant that the first idea I had come up with was not very strong at all.

So, the general consensus at the end of the discussion was to find something else, something that I absolutely knew that I cared about, and write about that instead.

Synopsis - Draft One

Daniel is 17 years old.
On the year anniversary of his father’s death, Daniel is confronted with feelings of anger and regret. Daniel is seen walking into a cemetery. He leans down, and places a white Lily down next to a tombstone. He looks down, and sees a card saying how his father had been missed since his death. He looks sad, but angry at the same time. Daniel returns home, puts his key in the front door, to see that a bouquet of flowers had been left at the foot of the stairs, alongside a picture of Daniel and his father. He takes his keys out of his pocket, and throws them at the frame. Throwing the bouquet down the stairs, he storms up to his room, and puts his headphones on. He lays there, silent. He wakes up, awoken by his phone vibrating. His girlfriend is texting, asking where he is, and if he was still coming out. He looks back down at the phone, and quickly taps back, “Sorry, I’m not in the mood now”. He drops the phone back down into place, and lays back down. The phone vibrates only seconds later, with a short and abrupt text on-screen, “If you don’t want to be with me, then Fine.”. He takes the headphones off, and sits upright. He looks at his door, and sees a large duffel bag on the door. He stands up and puts the duffel bag onto his bed, looking straight down int the bottom. He then pulls his wardrobe open, and then starts frantically pulling clothes out of assorted drawers and hangers. He zips the bag up, and grabs a notepad out of his drawer. He scribbles down a note in frantic handwriting, “I’m sorry”. He blu tacks the note to the glass of the door, and then leaves, slamming the door behind him. He starts to walk, and jumps on the nearest bus that he can, staying on to most of the journey. He gets off the bus, and looks up at a block of flats. He opens the door, and moves towards the roof of the building, dumping his bag at the top of the stairwell, and approaching the roof. He dangles his feet over the edge, and looks off into the distance.