Synopsis - Draft Three Notes

The overall discussion that was had around the third draft initially concerned the content of my writing. In some places, the story synopsis turned more into a short story than a synopsis, and I was revealing what my character was thinking, something that you shouldn't do in a synopsis.

There were several changes made to the content of the synopsis. For example, the prospect of a "Silent Hero" was discussed; how Charlie wouldn't say a word throughout the entire production, relying purely on actions and emotions rather then words. this refers back to Milgrom's script, with the film using maximum action, and minimum dialogue to emphasise what is actually happening in the scene, rather then distracting the audience with dialogue. 

Also, another scene could have been added to the production to explain something that I originally intended to show. In the second draft of my synopsis, Charlie walks out of his working room, and then goes straight towards the Year 9's at the bench. However, by adding a more observational scene before the confrontation, Charlie takes on a more voyeuristic role, not yet engaging the bullies, but instead, watching them pick on another person. This seems to change the tone of the film slightly, with Charlie taking a much more observational role, with the tone changing from retribution, where Charlie goes after the boy that described his work, to Charlie giving out his form of justice to the kids that had previously wronged him.

Within the third script, it was clear that there wasn't a real catalyst for change, where Charlie would realise that he wanted to do something to help out the guy on the bench. Looking could have been considered a catalyst, but it wasn't a very powerful catalyst at that. So, it was discussed that. potentially, the bullies could grab the boys bag, and tip out the contents, possibly breaking a few pens and pencils. This presents the film with a more powerful catalyst when compared to the other. this ups

As per Milgrom's "The Script", the new addition of the voyeuristic role, as well as spending a little more time on the bench with the other boy who is being abused, the protagonist is now presented with another want/need/obligation; he wants to get the boy back for destroying his work, but doesn't not want to resort to violence, as the character is an intellectual thinker, rather then fighting his way out of every problem that comes his way.